Learning to Rest {Day 10.0}

Rest is not always an easy thing to do. Especially intentional rest. I'll just be real for a minute, I like my rest. Not having a schedule or an agenda is one of my favorite ways to spend my day. I crave down time. 

I have had several seasons in my life where I was either running myself ragged or I was an absolute lazy bones. Neither one is healthy. During my busy season, I felt guilty when I rested. During my lazy season, I felt guilty when I rested. And truth be told, in either situation, I was not truly resting. 

I had to learn to balance. It's tricky. I am sure you know that. But as I learned more about who I was and how I was made, it was easier for me to find the balance. I learned that I probably need more rest then most people, and that that's ok. It doesn't mean I am any less than them. I am no less of a mom, wife, friend, employee or woman because I need more rest than my counterparts. Once I recognized this truth I could rest without guilt! 

Now, I try to listen to what my body needs and the key to thriving in this area (at least for me) is making sure I don't feel guilty for resting. When I give myself what I need I can treat my people better. 

God actually commands His people to rest. Our Heavenly Father knows how important it to rest. His love for us gives us permission to rest without shame or guilt. So as I still try to maintain the balance, I trust that God will bless my rest.

Rest might look different for each one of us and it may look different from day to day. Sometimes rest means actual sleep, other times is means not making dinner or doing chores that night. Sometimes rest is laying down in a quiet place with the intention of resting my body. Other times it is reading a book, drawing, crocheting or listening to music. Sometimes rest just means cutting off the noise, no phone, internet, television, shutting it all out and focusing on what is right under my nose. 

It's a process knowing what type of rest I need but the better I get at listening to what I need the better I treat those around me. I no longer rest because I am just to exhausted to go on anymore. I rest because I need it and I try my best to make it an intentional thing. 

How can you begin to incorporate rest into your routine? 

Thanks for reading! 

Love,

~jimmie lee

Making Connections {Day 9.0}

For most of my teenage/adult life I had so many walls built up I had a difficult time making connections and building community. I was extremely insecure, judgmental, and untrusting. I was living in a way that was me against the world, as if people were the enemy.  When I think back to those days, it's a wonder I had any friends at all, let alone meeting and keeping my now husband. The people who have remained in my life from that time period are the few people who were willing to break down those walls. And truly how can you expect people to do the hard work of breaking down walls? 

It's really hard to survive on our own, we surely can't thrive alone.

 Like the Tenth Avenue North song says: 

No man is an island, we can be found

No man is an island, let your guard down

You don't have to fight me, I am for you

We're not meant to live this life alone. 

I was so sick of fighting against everyone. I was fed up with all the walls I had built to keep the pain out. I was tired of feeling alone all the time. I knew it was bigger than me and that I would need God's help tearing down my ginormous walls.

 I began praying that Jesus would tear down the walls. I asked that He would reveal the community that was already right in front of me. And He did, because God is faithful! 

It took time. It was a process, as most growth is.

God guided and directed my steps. You can't put God in a box either, he used some pretty disappointing, frustrating and unjust situations to bring me community, support and encouragers. But isn't that how God works a lot of the time? Turning bad into good. 

Before I could make connections and build that community I longed for, I had to crush the walls. And in order for me to keep that growth and continue to build community I need to be careful not to let those walls pop back up. Because, let's be honest, people can hurt you. I think the key is to first trust God. Trust that he will bring you the community you need and that no matter what happens he works out everything for the good of those who love Him. And listen to the Holy Spirit, lean not on your own understanding. 

I pray that in each new situation I find connections and community, encouragers and supporters. 

I pray that I continue to learn to love people and to trust that God is working things out for good. 

If you feel alone. If you are aching for community and encouragers. Start praying. 

I pray that God will send community to you. I pray that He will keep his sovereign hand on your life and that he will provide exactly what you need, exactly where you are. In Jesus name, Amen!

Thank you for being on this journey with me!

Love,

~jimmie lee

#SpeakLife {Day 8.0}

I remember an illustration our Pastor gave one Sunday during his sermon. He was speaking on the measure we pour out and how when we speak we our pouring out what we have been given. He used a basin and pitcher of water, dumping the water into the empty basin. The pitcher represented us and the basin was what we poured out into someone else. He said something during his sermon that struck a chord with me, as he so often does. He was talking about how our words have power. He explained that when we speak words like calling someone and idiot or stupid or whatever the case may be, we are speaking into their lives and it has an effect on them. The thing that struck me the most was when he said"your are speaking something into their life that they didn't ask for." I sat back and thought ...Wow! I have spoke words, ugly words into many peoples lives that have effected them in a way that they didn't ask for. My ugly words could be the reason for someone's pain. Thats heavy… 

I have always been fairly careful with my words, not the best, but I try. But this idea of speaking unwanted things into someone's life really made me take a look at the way I say things. Especially to my husband and my ever developing children. I know that the way you word things (as well your tone) can have a different result depending on which words you choose. I am not the best at it all the time but this is one of those things that I am passionate about and try to work on. Even the smallest changes make a difference. 

Not long after this, I read a blog post from Jess Connolly in which she talked about speaking life. Jess really inspires me to strive for better but not in a try hard way, in a lean on God's grace way. Her post (which I'm sorry I can't find right now) talked about not only speaking life but staying away from speaking 'death', staying away from gossip, building each other up instead of judging and comparing. And so I put that phrase into my regular vocabulary (and I bought this mug!) because I want to focus on being a life giver not a life drainer. 

"In every encounter we either give life or we drain it, there is no neutral exchange." ~Brennan Manning

In order for me to speak life into someone else I had to start speaking life into my own life.

Proverbs 18:21(NKJV) ~Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat it's fruit.~

Start speaking life into your own situations and it will overflow into those around you. You can only give back what you have been given. 

Small changes can make a big difference :) 

Hopefully this post gave you a little bit of an idea of how God speaks to me through others and how it really is a process of transforming and renewing your mind.

Thanks for reading!

Love, 

~jimmie lee

Renew Your Mind {Day 7.0}

I thought I'd be a pessimist forever. I was the QUEEN of negative self talk. It played in my head all day long. I would walk away from uncomfortable situations and berate myself and scrutinize over every little detail.

It was a horrible way to live actually.

I HAD to transform my thinking. I had to change my perspective. 

I began filling myself with truth. I would read God's word and seek answers. God would always send me something I needed to hear or learn. He would speak to me and teach me things through his word, music, book studies, other people and a multitude of other ways. Before I knew it (quite literally) my thinking had shifted from negative 100% of the time to negative only about 50% of the time. (I am totally making these numbers up by the way. But I'm sure you understand the illustration) 

Then one day, someone told me that they thought I was always positive. I chuckled a little at the thought. I still didn't feel like I was a positive thinker. So, I started paying attention. Turns out, I am no longer a 'die hard' pessimist. Learning to shift my thinking has changed my life. It had taken me from surviving to thriving.

It took a lot of hard work on my end and a whole lotta God's grace to get to a place where I could even entertain the idea of thinking more positively. I was so bogged down with unnecessary burdens I couldn't see myself or my life any differently than what it was. As I was being transformed I got to a place where I was just so sick of my stinking thinking that I knew I had to do something different. I couldn't just take life laying down anymore. Once I got to that place, a place where I could see better, I began looking for the positives. This transformation has open new opportunities and relationships for me that I never would have had otherwise. Nixing the negativity was the starting point to seeing myself in a new way and ultimately seeing me the way God sees me.

Today, if you are in a place where you can not even entertain a positive thought and it seems like your life will always be this way, I want to tell you that there is HOPE! God has a plan for you. I know he does because I have been in your shoes, I felt the same things and even though I knew God had a plan for me I didn't think I would ever find out what it was. But He has taken me through a process and he has been faithful through it all. When you get to the place where you no longer dwell on the negative, because I know you will, you will look back and see God's faithful hand on you the entire way. There is hope, hold onto that hope!

Thank you for following along on this 31 day journey. You can catch up on my other posts here.

Love,
~jimmie lee

Thriving Today {Day 6.0}

Sometimes thriving looks like it did today. Moving through the day fluidly with an uplifted spirit. Work, board meeting, home, dinner, dishes, laundry, relaxing and spending time with my people. 

Sometimes thriving looks different. Staying in my pj's all day, cuddling with my toddler, sleeping in, drinking coffee and reading books. 

Since I started focusing on the idea of thriving a few months ago, most of my days are filled with encouragement, happiness and joy. Even when things gets rough, or too much to handle, I don't let it get me in funk. I push through it, trying to figure it out, coming up with solutions instead of sulking for days. 

Things that are helping me thrive through my days:

Being more optimistic; looking for the positives

Trying to be more of a life giver

Making connections

Knowing when to rest

Less of the comparison trap

Counting my blessings

Being more intentional

Knowing my purpose

Knowing who God made me to be

Learning what I need

Recognizing my strengths

Taking it one day at time

Believing what the people who love me, say about me. 

Getting stronger everyday

I will be talking more in depth about these things through out this 31 day process. 

Thanks for following along!
Love,
~jimmie lee

Areas of Improvement {Day 4.0 & 5.0}

{Day 4.0}

One thing that is true about me is I am passionate about personal growth. There is always room for improvement. This is something that is important to me. I try to wake up every day and take better steps toward the future. I don't look at personal growth like "I am not good enough, I need to change" anymore.  Now my perspective is more like "It is important for me to be the best me for my people." When I am the best me I can be then I can influence everyone around me to do the same! 

So I thought it prudent to address some of the areas in my life that need a little progress toward thriving.

1. More dates! 

I need to carve out more time to date my husband. We both have jobs, are involved in ministry, have hobbies we love and we have two boys! Plus, we both love our down time. And we enjoy our kids, so often times we don't make dates a priority. This needs to start, stat! ;)

I also need to start dating my kids. I need to make it a priority to spend one on one time with them with the soul purpose of just focusing on them. 

2. House keeping…

I'll keep this short and simple. I am not a home maker. I lack in the domestic housewife department. I used to let that bring me down but… my husband is happy and my kids are happy so, it doesn't bother me anymore. Well, I try not to let it bother me anymore. So that said, I may never conquer house keeping but I would like to get to a place of thriving… not surviving in this area.

3. Relationships
I have built up friendships over the last year that I didn't have before. I want to thrive in each of these relationships. So, I want to get better at reaching out more and meeting up more often. Not one of my friendships looks the same. Thats what I love about how God brings friends together. I want to get better at speaking life into those around me and building up by cultivating kindness.

I'll just start with three areas, as progress is made other things fall into place. Again thats what I love about God and living in relationship to him. He goes before me and stands behind me!

What are some areas you might need to look at to get to a place of thriving?
Remember thriving is a process but if you have things you can change, start small. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

{Day 5.0}

Encouragement for your day. 

We were made to thrive. 

Surviving Vs.Thriving {Day3.0}

{This post is pretty raw and honest! But this is what God has put on my heart to write.}

Yesterday I asked a couple questions. So I thought I would try and answer them today!

I remember what Surviving looked like for me:

When I first got married I had our life all planned. Don't we all make that mistake at some point? Soon my world came crashing down when I realized I couldn't do it all. I was just graduated from school, no job, new home and we were on our own with this keeping a house and parenting thing. (Up until this point my oldest and I had lived with my parents, who are such a blessing) I was working part time at a job I got through a friend and had nothing to do with my field. I was miserable. I would come home try to make a homemade dinner and then get my son to soccer or piano or somewhere by a certain time and  at the same time my husband had to work long hours. Did you read that all in one breath? Because yeah, life was pretty much exhausting. I would literally come home from work crying, sobbing, every single night and no one saw. I would shut myself in my room, cry my eyes out, then pull myself together and act like everything was ok. 

One night, my mom looked at me and said, "Jimmie Lee you don't have to be super mom" I felt relieved… But I was still trying to be super mom and super wife and I just was not cutting it. 

The next 5 years were filled with so many job changes I lost track. My dream, my plan, was to graduate with a Master's degree, find a full-time job in a school and live happily ever after. That never happened. 

I became pregnant with my youngest in 2010. I was thrilled and excited to be pregnant with a second! But pregnancy is not my friend and I spent 9 months exhausted and wondering if I could really pull off this mom thing. I was working full time then and would come home and pass out on the couch from exhaustion. When I would wake up I would realize that my then 10 year old had made himself something to eat and I would spend the rest of the night feeling guilty, sad, angry and exhausted. 

Needless to say, life looked nothing like I had planned. 

After Maxson was born, I struggled with postpartum depression. Instead of trying to hard, I just stopped trying. I would go to bed at night dreading the next day. My alarm would go off in the morning and I would stay in bed. I didn't even care. I would finally make myself get up, usually because Max needed me. And somehow I would make it to work. I did the bare minimum at work and at home. I wasn't thriving. I was just surviving.

I don't know what thriving would have looked like then. 

The Free Online Dictionary defines the word thrive like this, 

1. To make steady progress, prosper

2. To grow vigorously, flourish

What thriving would look like to me:
As I was pulled up & out of the pit I described myself as a flower bud waiting to bloom. Little buds need some TLC to flourish and grow to a beautiful prosperous flower. And God gave me exactly the things I needed to get to a place of thriving, to bloom and grow. I'd like to interject that getting out of the pit was a long a process for me and there were many people along the way that kept me going. My growth didn't just happen over night but I definitely made steady progress and once out of the pit, I didn't slip back in. I finally had the right conditions to fully bloom. (Although I would argue that I still have some progress to make!)
I have people surrounding me in all of my circles that build me up and encourage me. During my depression, when I was in survival mode, I isolated myself, put up walls. So my family and (few) friends were there for me but at work and at church… I was just going through the motions. I was there, but felt invisible. So when I say I have people in all of my circles, this is what I am talking about. I have made friendships at work and at church. Every where I go I have a connection with someone who sees me for who I am and accepts me and hey (!), they actually like me!!! What? This has been so important in my journey to joy and thriving.
I still stay up late at night, but not because I am trying to avoid the next day.
I still have a little bit of a hard time getting out of bed, but thats just because bed is really comfy and I still like sleep :)
I still drink coffee but its not the second thing I think about when I wake up in the morning. I actually just enjoy drinking coffee, its not a crutch anymore.
I still check Facebook, but its an afterthought, not the first thing I think about when I wake up.
I always want to be with my family but I actually want to go to work each day. I still cherish my days off because this introvert needs some rest and down time.
I go to church ready to praise God. I don't walk in weary and anxious. (Although sometimes you know, it is what it is. And God just takes us as we are! Praise God right?)
There is still progress to be made, but I don't go to bed dreading the next day!

I understand myself better. I know what I need to thrive.
Those parts of me I always thought were weaknesses, I now know are strengths!
I am confident.
I love myself and I love others. Period.
I could never say these things before… ever.

Life is still busy, and can be heavy at times, but I go to bed thankful with a full heart most nights. I am no longer burdened by own thoughts, I can see others burdens and speak life into them.

It is amazing how things can change when you feel valued, accepted and appreciated by those who surround you.

I really want to look at how I could continue to thrive if my environment changes and the conditions are no longer right. My hope is that throughout this 31 days of writing, I will come to some kind of conclusion about this. 

Thanks for reading along!

love,

~jimmie lee