That long stretch

I picked a really bad time to start blogging again. I thought to myself a brand new year, why not a brand new blog space? 

I started off January with some momentum only to teeter off so quickly. We have entered that long stretch of months when it is mostly cold, gray and dark. That period of time when you are just sick and tired of being sick and tired.This winter is becoming brutal and relentless with negative temperatures and snow snow snow. And so once again I am beginning to feel stuck.

I thought it might be different this winter. I thought it might be different than winter's past because I am healthier now. My mind seems to be in the right place most of the time. I have made some new friends and I feel at home in my church. But I guess there are still a few things that pull at me and try to steal my attention away from the blessed life I have truly been given. (But this, is a whole other post altogether). Things I do not necessarily want to deal with. Some, things I can not really change.

So I write this to say, I don't want this to be a negative space. I don't want to be all Negative Nelly on you. Yet sometimes I need to write it all out, the good, the bad and the ugly. Truth be told, life isn't always rainbows and butterflies. Even as a Christian woman and a good enough mom, I don't always wear a smile across my face. 

And you know what? That is okay. It's okay because I still hold true to what I know. And I know God's got my back. He always has, always does, and always will. 

When the cold winter months have got me low, singing the blues, I know who holds me in his hand. I know He will hold me and carry me through this season. He loves me. No matter what my feelings are that day, He loves me. 

 And maybe that's what the Joy of The Lord really is. Maybe it is not, keeping that smile on your face. Maybe it is the faith that His love will see you through no matter your circumstance. Maybe the Joy of The Lord is your confidence in the hope that is Christ. Maybe it is not pretending perfection and happiness at all times but it is knowing the One who holds you in His hands. Maybe its about your deep down inner most most parts rejoicing in Christ Jesus even when your circumstances aren't what you would like.

Ps 35:9 And my soul shall be joyful in the Lord: it shall rejoice in His salvation.

And... just like that Jesus reveals an answer to a question I have been asking for months, just like that. That right there is why I need to write. 

I am looking forward to Spring (even if my baby is turning 3!) but in the meantime I will abide in Him. 

Blessings from 

~a good enough mom