Making Connections {Day 9.0}

For most of my teenage/adult life I had so many walls built up I had a difficult time making connections and building community. I was extremely insecure, judgmental, and untrusting. I was living in a way that was me against the world, as if people were the enemy.  When I think back to those days, it's a wonder I had any friends at all, let alone meeting and keeping my now husband. The people who have remained in my life from that time period are the few people who were willing to break down those walls. And truly how can you expect people to do the hard work of breaking down walls? 

It's really hard to survive on our own, we surely can't thrive alone.

 Like the Tenth Avenue North song says: 

No man is an island, we can be found

No man is an island, let your guard down

You don't have to fight me, I am for you

We're not meant to live this life alone. 

I was so sick of fighting against everyone. I was fed up with all the walls I had built to keep the pain out. I was tired of feeling alone all the time. I knew it was bigger than me and that I would need God's help tearing down my ginormous walls.

 I began praying that Jesus would tear down the walls. I asked that He would reveal the community that was already right in front of me. And He did, because God is faithful! 

It took time. It was a process, as most growth is.

God guided and directed my steps. You can't put God in a box either, he used some pretty disappointing, frustrating and unjust situations to bring me community, support and encouragers. But isn't that how God works a lot of the time? Turning bad into good. 

Before I could make connections and build that community I longed for, I had to crush the walls. And in order for me to keep that growth and continue to build community I need to be careful not to let those walls pop back up. Because, let's be honest, people can hurt you. I think the key is to first trust God. Trust that he will bring you the community you need and that no matter what happens he works out everything for the good of those who love Him. And listen to the Holy Spirit, lean not on your own understanding. 

I pray that in each new situation I find connections and community, encouragers and supporters. 

I pray that I continue to learn to love people and to trust that God is working things out for good. 

If you feel alone. If you are aching for community and encouragers. Start praying. 

I pray that God will send community to you. I pray that He will keep his sovereign hand on your life and that he will provide exactly what you need, exactly where you are. In Jesus name, Amen!

Thank you for being on this journey with me!

Love,

~jimmie lee